I need some prayers and good thoughts being sent my way, I found something that would replace Target. YAY!!!

Comment and I will:
a) Tell you why I friended you.
b) Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, etc.
c) Tell you something I like about you.
d) Tell you a memory I have of you.
e) Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
f) Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
g) In return, please post this in your journal

Dear Lord have mercy *headdesk* I just want to run screaming in front of a very large bus/truck/train.

Who wants a five year old? She's cute... really.

Theme: Nick Carter
Status: 100/100 Theme: Nick Carter
Status: 52/100
Credits: _________________________________________, <table border="0" align="center" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" bgcolor="#BCCABE" rules="rows" style="border:1px solid black;">

001 Forbidden	002 Rose	003 Crash & Burn	004 Crush	005 Hot
006 Disease	007 Be Mine	008 Love	009 Crazy	010 Hero
011 Don't Leave	012 Tears	013 Crack	014 Loser	015 Beautiful
016 Only One	017 Bliss	018 Pain	019 Words	020 Sin
021 Hatred	022 Memory	023 Dream	024 Breakdown	025 Thinking of You
026 I'm Sorry	027 Black	028 Kiss	029 Torn	030 Death
031 Magic	032 Blue	033 Not Now	034 Silence	035 Gone
036 Fantasy	037 Luck	038 Silver	039 Gold	040 Alone
041 Close to you	042 Let Go	043 Caught	044 Hello	045 Goodbye
046 Cool	047 No One Knows	048 Red	049 Afterglow	050 White
051 Artist Choice	052 Artist Choice	053 Artist Choice	054 Artist Choice	055 Artist Choice
056 Artist Choice	057 Artist Choice	058 Artist Choice	059 Artist Choice	060 Artist Choice
061 Artist Choice	062 Artist Choice	063 Artist Choice	064 Artist Choice	065 Artist Choice
066 Artist Choice	067 Artist Choice	068 Artist Choice	069 Artist Choice	070 Artist Choice
001 Forbidden	002 Rose	003 Crash & Burn	004 Crush	005 Hot
006 Disease	007 Be Mine	008 Love	009 Crazy	010 Hero
011 Don't Leave	012 Tears	013 Crack	014 Loser	015 Beautiful
016 Only One	017 Bliss	018 Pain	019 Words	020 Sin
021 Hatred	022 Memory	023 Dream	024 Breakdown	025 Thinking of You
026 I'm Sorry	027 Black	028 Kiss	029 Torn	030 Death
031 Magic	032 Blue	033 Not Now	034 Silence	035 Gone
036 Fantasy	037 Luck	038 Silver	039 Gold	040 Alone
041 Close to you	042 Let Go	043 Caught	044 Hello	045 Goodbye
046 Cool	047 No One Knows	048 Red	049 Afterglow	050 White
051 Artist Choice	052 Artist Choice	053 Artist Choice	054 Artist Choice	055 Artist Choice
056 Artist Choice	057 Artist Choice	058 Artist Choice	059 Artist Choice	060 Artist Choice
061 Artist Choice	062 Artist Choice	063 Artist Choice	064 Artist Choice	065 Artist Choice
066 Artist Choice	067 Artist Choice	068 Artist Choice	069 Artist Choice	070 Artist Choice
071 Artist Choice	072 Artist Choice	073 Artist Choice	074 Artist Choice	075 Artist Choice
076 Artist Choice	077 Artist Choice	078 Artist Choice	079 Artist Choice	080 Artist Choice
081 Artist Choice	082 Artist Choice	083 Artist Choice	084 Artist Choice	085 Artist Choice
086 Artist Choice	087 Artist Choice	088 Artist Choice	089 Artist Choice	090 Artist Choice
				/td>
091 Artist Choice	092 Artist Choice	093 Artist Choice	094 Artist Choice	095 Artist Choice
096 Artist Choice	097 Artist Choice	098 Artist Choice	099 Artist Choice	100 Artist Choice

Theme: Nick Carter
Status: 14/100
Latest Addictions: _____________________
Credits: _________________________________________,

001 Forbidden	002 Rose	003 Crash & Burn	004 Crush	005 Hot
006 Disease	007 Be Mine	008 Love	009 Crazy	010 Hero
011 Don't Leave	012 Tears	013 Crack	014 Loser	015 Beautiful
016 Only One	017 Bliss	018 Pain	019 Words	020 Sin
021 Hatred	022 Memory	023 Dream	024 Breakdown	025 Thinking of You
026 I'm Sorry	027 Black	028 Kiss	029 Torn	030 Death
031 Magic	032 Blue	033 Not Now	034 Silence	035 Gone
036 Fantasy	037 Luck	038 Silver	039 Gold	040 Alone
041 Close to you	042 Let Go	043 Caught	044 Hello	045 Goodbye
046 Cool	047 No One Knows	048 Red	049 Afterglow	050 White
051 Artist Choice	052 Artist Choice	053 Artist Choice	054 Artist Choice	055 Artist Choice
056 Artist Choice	057 Artist Choice	058 Artist Choice	059 Artist Choice	060 Artist Choice
061 Artist Choice	062 Artist Choice	063 Artist Choice	064 Artist Choice	065 Artist Choice
066 Artist Choice	067 Artist Choice	068 Artist Choice	069 Artist Choice	070 Artist Choice
071 Artist Choice	072 Artist Choice	073 Artist Choice	074 Artist Choice	075 Artist Choice
076 Artist Choice	077 Artist Choice	078 Artist Choice	079 Artist Choice	080 Artist Choice
081 Artist Choice	082 Artist Choice	083 Artist Choice	084 Artist Choice	085 Artist Choice
086 Artist Choice	087 Artist Choice	088 Artist Choice	089 Artist Choice	090 Artist Choice
091 Artist Choice	092 Artist Choice	093 Artist Choice	094 Artist Choice	095 Artist Choice
096 Artist Choice	097 Artist Choice	098 Artist Choice	099 Artist Choice	100 Artist Choice

*sets down their breakfast, chuckles watching them eat*

*heads back up the stairs, tucking a strand of wet hair behind my ear*

*sits down at the vanity, pulls a face at myself, giggling a little*

*opens up my journal*

Today has to be better. I don't know if I can make it if its not.

*sighs*

I feel so lucky though, even as bad as yesterday was, when I started to feel better, Nick did everything that he could think of to make me laugh and smile. Somehow, he always can.

Him holding me always helps too. Just having his arms wrapped around me, pulling me close to him. It just makes me feel so very safe and like nothing is wrong with the world. I love that when he holds me I feel so protected and at peace.

*shakes my head*

Yeah, I'm weird that way. Height wise I'm not that much shorter than he is. But he's big..big arms, big chest, big legs. *blushes* It just makes me feel very feminine. I feel like he just envelopes me. It is a very strange thing to me. But I love it.

*looks over what I just wrote, shakes my head*

Obviously, I am still feeling a little out of it this morning. Not making any damn sense to anyone other than myself. And that's ok.

*smiles to myself a little*

I love him so much, he makes me so happy. No matter what, I know that we are there for each other. To make sure that everything will be better than it was.

*closes my journal, starts to finish my makeup*

a truth:
a wish:
a fantasy:
a secret:
a compliment:
a love note:
a song:
a hint to who you are:

Just do me good. *smirks*

*fixes their breakfast, patting them on the head as they start to eat*

*heads upstairs to get in the shower*

*plops on the bed for a minute with my journal*

I had so much fun last night. Thank you Gwennie and Brian for having us all over. It was great to see everyone just relaxing and talking into the night. I had wanted to stay awake and listen more, but had gotten up really early yesterday, trying to get everything finished that I needed to.

*runs my hand back through my hair*

Still have stuff to do today before my RL plans this evening, I'm hoping that I don't have to be there all night long and that I can escape and at least come play a little. *chuckles* I have some things tomorrow on the mainland also, hopefully not as long as yesterday though.

I miss my baby.*pouts* He had wanted to do something just us yesterday, before the BBQ but my appointment ran longer than I thought, and that was going in two hours earlier than I had originally planned. *grumbles a little*

*runs my fingertips lightly over the bracelet that he gave me yesterday, smiling softly*

He spoils me, not sure what I did to deserve his love and time, but I am so glad that I he decided to take a chance on me. I love when he surprises me, like with breakfast yesterday morning...he doesn't cook..at all *chuckles softly* but he called his mom and had her walk him through making french toast, one of my favorites by the way. It's the little things that he does like that, that make me love him so much more than I ever thought was possible.

*grins at the girls as they come padding in the bedroom*

I need to get showered and try to face today...

*puts down my journal, hopping up to get ready*

I have to say, for someone like me that is NOT a big fan of Nsync,or boybands in general,  hearing that Lance Bass was going to be less than a mile from my house didn't really do anything for me. However, we all know that Kim shape adores Lance, so I called her and arranged for her to meet me at the grand opening that he was doing here.

I do have to say however, it was fun being there, we had Gwen and April shape on the cell phones and snapped a TON of pictures. He allowed the crowd to ask questions and he answered them. For those of you that I know care, they are thinking a new album sometime in 2005. He also did not have his eyebrow pierced anymore, but you could see that it was healing from where it had been.

Hell, we all know that I will say or do anything, so I asked for a hug...and got one for Kimshape  and I. *chuckles* Thought that she might pass out. But it was worth it.

He also was signing autographs and having his picture taken with the people that were there. He was very gracious and completely darling in person. I must say that I have a new found respect for him.

Hopefully, she will give you a few more details as I am starting to zone off here....

Nighty Night....

*steps back into RP*

*slips on a pair of sunglasses, running my hands through my hair, smiling*

Today went well, no not well, good. *laughs* I can't remember the last day that I had a work that was that smooth, that enjoyable. After being off for three days I figured give up ahead of time, expect the worst, pray for the best. *tucking some hair behind my ear* I guess it worked... I got everything, well almost everything that needed to be done, done. Everyone was in a good mood, and I got to talk to my favorite vendor for a few minute, he makes me laugh, even if he keeps telling me to move to Arizona and be his new ex-wife. *snorts*

*slides the glasses up on the top of my head, thinking for a minute*

Maybe I am so happy because Nick makes me laugh, all the time, over the smallest things. I feel relaxed and at peace, comfortable and totally head over heels. *shakes my head a little* I don't remember a time that we have been together that we haven't ended up laughing. I love that about him, he can make me laugh over just about anything.

*chewing on my lip for a minute*

I got myself worked into a funk on Saturday, no reason for it, just one of those things that happen. Chris, thank you for listening to me, and smacking me out of it. What you said was needed, and right. *nods* It's good to have a friend that just slaps you upside the head with the truth about things, and makes you realize what you have standing right in front of your face. *grins* And yes, I still wanna borrow that damn stripper pole one night. *laughs*

*stretching out on the chaise, closing my journal, smiling contently, humming to myself*

*blinks a couple of times, making sure that really is what it says*

*sees a vase of red roses on the nighstand, picks up the card reading it, smiling softly*

*sneezes*

Well, that came outta nowhere. *clears my throat, feeling the tickle in it, groans a little* How did I get a cold? It's warm outside, right?

*slips out of bed, going over to the window, seeing the heavy dark clouds rolling in, frowns a little*

Hmmm, this seems like a good day to stay in bed, hopefully after some rest I will be feeling better. *sneezes again* Well, damn it all.

*crawls back under the covers, adjusting everything a little, making myself all comfy*

*hears the soft roll of the thunder and the soft fall of the rain as I fall back asleep*

When the darkness finds the night
My heart still beats for you
In your eyes I see the lie
What can I do, I'll try my best to walk away
So I don't have to feel the pain
It goes on and on, on and on
And this emptiness I feel goes on and on
On and on
As I cry myself to sleep I just can't go on
On and on
When this love I feel for you is oh so strong
On and on, on and on
Why can't I feel your heartbeat next to mine
The way it used to be
I love that purpose that's so right
I need you to see I try my best to walk away
But I just can't ignore the pain
It goes on and on, on and on
And this emptiness I feel goes on and on, on and on
As I cry myself to sleep I just can't go on
On and on
When this love I feel for you is oh so strong
On and on, on and on
Can I find a way to let you know
Could I ever make you see
Baby you took my soul and took my heart
But the pain you left all for me
It goes on and on
On and on
And this emptiness I feel, it goes on and on, on and on
As I cry myself to sleep I just can't go on,
On and on
When this love I feel for you is oh so strong
On and on, on and on
I guess it's meant to be
In your eyes I see the lie
But the light's not from me
I turn around and walk away
But I'll never escape the pain
It goes on and on, on and on
It goes on and on

watching the rain fall*

Is there anything more relaxing and sexy than a warm spring shower, the kind where the drops just pitter-patter against the pane of the window, waking you. Where you can smell the freshness of the earth, the kind that makes you want to just turn up your face and let the drops fall all over your face.

*opening the window, inhaling deeply*

*sighing softly*

Mmmm, I love that smell.

*turning to look at Justin, asleep, a soft content smile on my face, my eyes full of love*

God, I love him, with everything that I have in me. I love him more today than I did yesterday, and that can be a scary thing. I have never opened my heart and soul to anyone like this before.

*glancing at the clock*

I'm glad I get in later on Friday's than the rest of the week, because I did not want to get out of our bed, and move away from his embrace. The only thing about later going is, is later getting home. *frowns a bit*

*walking over to the bed, caressing his face gently with my hand, leaning down kissing him softly, smiling a little as he stirs*

*whispering*

I love you, baby...see you tonight.

Don't pretend you're sorry,
I know you're not.
You know you got the power,
To make me weak inside.
And (boy) you leave me breathless,
But it's ok.
Cause you are my survival,
Now hear me say.

I can't imagine life without your love.
And even forever don't seem like long enough.

Cause every time I breathe I take you in,
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it.
You keep me drowning in your love.
And every time I try to rise above,
I'm swept away by love.
Baby I can't help it,
You keep me drowning in your love.

Maybe I'm a drifter,
Maybe not.
Cause I have known the safety,
Of falling free into your arms.
I don't need another lifeline,
It's not for me.
It's only you can save me.
Oh, can't you see?

I can't imagine life without your love.
And even forever don't seem like long enough.
(It don't seem like long enough, yeah)

Cause every time I breathe I take you in,
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it.
You keep me drowning in your love.
And every time I try to rise above,
I'm swept away by love.
Baby I can't help it,
You keep me drowning in your love.

Go on pull me under.
Cover me with dreams.
You know I can't resist.
Cause you're the air that I breathe!



Cause every time I breathe I take you in,
(Every time I breathe, yeah)
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it.
(Baby I can't help it)
You keep me drowning in your love.
And every time I try to rise above,
I'm swept away by love.
Baby I can't help it,
You keep me drowning in your love…

Baby I can't help it,
You keep me drowning in your love.

Baby drowning.
(Oh…)
Got me drowning.
Keep me drowning in your love.
Baby I can't help it.
(Can't help it, can't help it no no.)
Got me drowning.

I can't imagine life without your love.
And even forever don't seem like long enough.

Cause every time I breathe I take you in,
(I do)
And my heart beats again
(Oh yeah)
Baby I can't help it.
(Baby I can't help it)
You keep me drowning in your love.
And every time I try to rise above,
(Got me drowning)
I'm swept away by love.
Baby I can't help it,
You keep me drowning in your love.

You Are An Understanding Girlfriend! You care about your guy, so much that you tend to put him first And while this makes your relationship smooth, sometimes you let big things slide Still be your understanding self, but if something really bothers you - let your guy know He'll still want you, even if you occasionally disagree What Kind Of Girlfriend Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

*tilting my head, grinning*

What do you think baby?

Ooh baby
I love the way you make me feel
It slows down time
Come in my bedroom and turn off the lights

You whisper softly in my ear
Makes me unwind
The way you touch me
Lets me know you're mine

I'd rather be with you
Because i love the way
You scream my name
And there's no other man
That gives me what i want
And makes me feel this way
I'd rather be with you because
You hustle hard to take care of me
I'd rather be with you
Boy i'd rather be with you

I love the way you look at me
Stare into my eyes
What do they say to you
Boy don't be shy
Tonight's the night your fantasies
Will all come true
I am your woman
I belong to you

There is nothing i won't do for you
I know my soul connected me to you
I feel so safe when i'm alone with you
I'm holding back nothin
Saving it all for you
Baby i love making love to you
It's like a high i can't come down from you

I'd rather be with you
Because i love the way
You scream my name
And there's no other man
That gives me what i want
And makes me feel this way
I'd rather be with you because
You hustle hard to take care of me
I'd rather be with you
Boy i'd rather be with you

I'd rather be with you oh yea
Boy i rather be with you
I'd rather be with you oh yea
Boy i rather be with you

I'd rather be with you
Because i love the way
You scream my name
And there's no other man
That gives me what i want
And makes me feel this way
I'd rather be with you because
You hustle hard to take care of me
I'd rather be with you
Boy i'd rather be with you

I don't want nobody else
I'm happy with you
You got me baby

People ask if I'm in love with you
Because I'm sitting here with your picture
And smiling to myself
I'm kinda lost in my own thoughts of you
My heart speaks before my mind thinks through
And I blush as I say yes

What a feeling of vulnerability coming over me
And I'm feeling weak and I can't speak
Never thought I'd give in so willingly to a human being
With abilities to set me free
Free, make me be me
Makes me want to say

Your lips, your love, your smile, your kiss
I must admit it's a part of me
You please me, complete me, believe me
Like a melody
Your soul, your flow, your youth, your truth is simply proof
We were meant to be
But the best quality thats hookin' me
Is that you're loving me for me
Is that you're loving me for me

People ask why I'm in love with you
Well, let me start by saying
You got my heart by just being who you are
And what we got is between me and you
It doesn't matter about the money I make
Or what I do, or that I'm a, huh, a star

Unconditionally you're there for me
Undeniably you inspire me, spiritually, so sweet
This is meaningful, is incredible, pleasurable, unforgettable
The way I feel, so sweet
Makes me want to say

Your lips, your love, your smile, your kiss
I must admit it's a part of me
You please me, complete me, believe me
Like a melody
Your soul, your flow, your youth, your truth is simply proof
We were meant to be
But the best quality thats hookin' me
Is that you're loving me for me
Is that you're loving me for me

Its so amazing how something so sweet
Has come and rearranged my life
I've been kissed by destiny
Oh, heaven came and saved me
An angel was placed at my feet
This isn't ordinary, he's loving me for me

Stripped of all make up, no need for fancy clothes
No cover ups, push ups
With him, I dont have to put on a show
He loves every freckle, every curve, every inch of my skin
Fulfilling me entirely, taking all of me in
He's real,he's honest, he's loving me for me
Yeah


*walking over to the bed, smiling softly, looking at you, leaning down kissing your cheek, whispering in your ear*

Justin, baby I love you, thank you for last night, for your understanding, for just being you.

*tucking the covers up over you, looking at you once more before heading out the door for work*

Baby, I need to see you
Oh, please come over
One, you come to my room for a little game
Two you, I'll do every erotic things
I wanna make love, babe, very slowly
Three times in a row, all night I'll go
I love when you come over
(Please come over)
And when you come, it gives me feva
(Come oh-oh-over)
Body next to mine
Love dance, syncopated time
Sugar rush keeps me high
Sweet kiss on my thigh
I wanna make love baby, very badly
Feels good in the air
Every time you're here
Don't keep me waiting, anticipating
Love I am saving for you
Hear what I'm saying
You I am craving
Love is here waiting for you
All day you're staying
Please no delaying
Patiently waiting for you
Don't keep me waiting, no time for playing
Sitting here waiting for you
I love when you come over
And when you come, it gives me feva
I love when you come over

DO ME!!!

I ___ Hilary.
Hilary is ___.
I like Hilary's___.
If I were alone in a room with Hilary, I would ___.
I think Hilary should ___.
Hilary needs to ___.
I want to ____ Hilary.
I want to go to ___ with Hilary.

Justin, Baby... I'm sorry that I can't be there to do this in person.

*clears throat, begins to sing in my best Marilyn Monroe impression*

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday... Mr Timberlake
Happy Birthday to you

*smiles softly, blows you a kiss*

I love and miss you. You are my heart and you have mine... always.

*grins*

Maybe you can get some use out of that court while I'm gone.